Saturday, March 5, 2011

questioning GOD

"It is the glory of God to hide things but the glory of kings to investigate them." --Proverbs 25:2

questioning our faith, our beliefs, doesn't mean that we've turned our backs on GOD. if anything, it shows that we take our faith seriously.

i've been taking a class on religions this semester, and i'm fascinated. it's like i'm discovering faith all over again. when we got to christianity, i realized there is so much that i didn't know. and now i find myself wanting to rediscover a faith that was becoming a stale religion to me.
i've decided to try to undo faith in under to discover it again. without realizing it, i've approached christianity, JESUS and the BIBLE from a religious paradigm. and now i want to read and approach as a blank slate.
i wonder if i'll see things differently, if i'll have a different understanding and appreciation of who GOD is and who i am in relation to him. i want to search and investigate free from preconceived notions. i want to wrestle with the word. i want to ask GOD questions and not just accept because i was taught that it was wrong to question GOD.
it is not wrong to question GOD.
i believe that when we ask questions and wrestle with interpretations, GOD smiles. maybe i'm wrong but if GOD is all-knowing and i am lacking knowledge, isn't it a compliment to him that i am searching him out? is he not big enough to handle my questions? does he fear being found fraudulent or inconsistent? nah. i don't buy that.
i wonder if GOD operates like i do. i am mysterious. i don't tell everyone everything i know. but i love when someone finds me interesting enough to ask me questions and search me out to find out who i really am. i find it sweet. when david and i were dating, we used to talk for hours, sharing intimate details and discussing anything and everything. not once did i get offended by his desire to know all about me. if anything, it made us love each other more. 
and that's my desire. to know and love GOD more than ever. i wonder what i'll discover.
i must admit i feel a little wide-eyed, like a fat person at an endless buffet. hmmm. taste and see that the LORD is good. i wonder... =)