Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Abstract Thinking - I Do That Well

The heart of an artist is fearless. It dares to dream and envision. It looks beyond the way things seem and sees what others cannot.

I am naturally an abstract thinker.

According to wiseGEEK.com, 'the abstract thinker can conceptualize or generalize, understanding that each concept can have multiple meanings. Such thinkers might see patterns beyond the obvious and be able to use patterns or a variety of concrete ideas or clues to solve larger problems.'

This is one of the things I really, really like about myself, and this definition describes me well. As a result, I'm able to dream  and envision things that others don't or won't or can't.

I've been in a bit of a dark place lately. Trying to find a job can be frustrating and filled with disappointments, especially when you know you can do the job if someone would only give you the chance.

Unfortunately, 'abstract thinker' doesn't seem to be on employers' radars, but it definitely makes me a better volunteer, employee, student, wife, mother, woman...

But at the moment, a job is not what I'm focused on. After a few rejections, I just need to remind myself that I am good enough, that I have a lot to offer and that I have some wonderful qualities.

And that's the reason for this post. I needed to focus on me...and what I do well.

Somebody's going to see me and what I have to offer, and they're going to be smart enough to say, "You're hired." It wouldn't hurt if they added that they're going to pay me an exorbitant amount of money because I'm just so darn awesome!

Meanwhile, I'm just going to get my thinking back on track.

Stay positive. Believe. Give. Be fearless.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm Sinking, and I Can't Rise Up



God,

Remember that time a few years ago when I sang this song to you?

Lord, I believe in You
I'll always believe in You
Though I cant see you with my eyes
Deep in my heart
Your presence I find
Lord, I believe in You
And I'll keep my trust in You
Let the whole world say what they may
No one can take this joy away
Lord, I believe 

I must confess. Instead of walking on water, I feel like I'm sinking. Doubt, rejection and disappointment are starting to pull me under. I'm struggling to hold onto my trust and joy. I feel them slipping out of my hands. I so desperately need to find your presence again. I don't know why it eludes me. You, more than anyone else, know my struggles. I have been through enough to know you are near, but your silence really hurts my heart.

I want to trust that everything is as it should be, that you have a plan for me. I know I only see in part, that your ways are higher than my own. But it's getting more difficult each day to believe.

I need to know you're with me. I need to feel like you see me, like you understand my heart.

I don't need epic signs and wonders. Just a little whisper, a small assurance will do.

I'm still a little broken, so don't leave me hanging. You know how I get. =)

Me just being me,
Hope