before we preach the gospel, we need to live the gospel

i read a blog a while back in which the author was voicing his aggravation with readers who inevitably comment that we don't need strategies to reach the lost, we just need to preach the gospel. my guess is that many who suggest we just preach the gospel probably don't have a very good relationship with those who need the gospel. at least that has been my experience.

john maxwell is famous for saying "people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." that couldn't be more important than when we are sharing the gospel with others. before we can preach the gospel, we need to live the gospel.

and that means we need to care. we need to love. we need to live and work with integrity. we need to serve.

i know for me personally, i will listen a whole lot better and a whole lot longer if i know someone genuinely loves and cares for me. i suggest we need less preaching and more living.

teachable moments

what a weekend! what started out to be a great and beautiful day full of promise (i realize that sounds melodramatic) turned sour. the region track meet was saturday. you should have heard us cheer my matthew on in the 1600m race. he crossed the finish line in first! our only win of the day, matthew would be moving on to compete in the state meet...at least we thought so. an hour later, someone came to let us know matthew had been disqualified. he had been announced 3 times as the winner and had been awarded his plaque. the coach at a rival school alleged sometime after the race (and after his kid had lost to matthew) that matthew had run out of bounds. matthew felt cheated. we all did. he knew he hadn't stepped out of bounds, especially the distance the coach was now claiming. we lost the initial appeal. but someone did the right thing, turned in a report, and before we even had a chance to ask for another appeal, the decision was overturned. matthew was reinstated as the winner. and he will compete at state.

david and i both felt sick over this situation. it was wrong. very wrong. after things settled down and we were back at our school, i was able to talk to matthew briefly about not letting this make him bitter. he had the opportunity to let this fuel him to be better, to be faster, to be more focused. it may have fallen on deaf ears for the moment, but i think he will take it to heart once he's had a chance to process.

he was angry. he had every right to be. david and i gave him his space. we allowed him to explore his emotions and process the events. i was probably angrier than anyone. you don't mess with a momma bear and her cubs, and you don't mess with a human momma and her children. amen?

he had one race left that day, and i believe he ran harder and faster than i'd ever seen him run. his whole team did. they placed third and also qualified for state. all of us on the sidelines were cheering and laughing about how they must really be mad to run that fast.

we kept the plaque he was awarded. i refused to give it up stating that he had rightfully earned it. no one challenged me on that. not only did he earn it, but i wanted to keep that plaque as a symbol, a reminder. i came across a quote by sophocles: "I would prefer even to fail with honor than to win by cheating.” my next teachable moment with my son? always remember how this felt, and always keep your integrity. and when you find yourself at that crossroads, do the right thing. don't allow someone else to feel what you felt at that moment.

life is full of decisions, crossroads. we have a choice. our integrity will be challenged. we can choose to do right or we can choose to do others wrong. we can choose to be bitter or we can choose to be better. we can fall and give up or we can rise with determination to overcome. what will we do? which will we choose?

do christian-bashers have a point?

i watched a couple of tv shows recently in which there was some christian-bashing going on. i admit. it was hard to hear what they were saying. on one hand, i'm a conservative christian. i'm the stereotype they were making jokes about. but i'm also disillusioned with the institution of church so in some respects i can understand their perspective. i've even secretly thought the same things.

my heart ached a little because i see where they're coming from. christians have begun to be known for what and who we're against. every time you turn around, we're boycotting this, or we're outraged about that. we're supposed to be known by our love. we're supposed to possess the fruit of the spirit which, in addition to love, is joy and peace, patience, gentleness, kindness and goodness, faithfulness and self-control. we're told in philippians to not only look out for our own interests but also the interests of others and not to be selfish and proud, but give more honor to others than ourselves.

yet this is not how we christians are perceived today. the people spoke about our negativity, our dogmatism, our rigidity, our condescension, our hypocrisy. i asked myself, "do they have a point?", "am i guilty?"

they may indeed have a point. i admit that when i act out of woundedness, i can slide into that stereotype. i can be guilty of one or more because i become self-focused, i push people away, and i hide emotionally or put up a front to protect myself. insecurity manifests itself in condescension and arrogance. i know i'm guilty of this at times. so once again, i am in one of my introspective, self-assessing modes.

i can point to many examples of christians being a poor representation of GOD. i've been turned off as well. i heard someone say that their problem was not with GOD but with his children. i get that. and i don't want to be that.

since then, i've apologized profusely to GOD, and i am truly sorry for being a poor representation myself. i want to be known for pointing people TO GOD not away from him. GOD is FOR people. i want to be known for being FOR people, too. i want to be known for my love and openness and caring attitudes and actions. i want to blow that stereotype out of the water that christians are angry, arrogant hypocrites. i'm not perfect. i will disappoint. but i'm trying to change and be that person that represents a good and loving GOD. that's who he is, even when i'm not.

lily was my inspiration

well, at least i can rest well tonight knowing i did the honest thing. i was on day one of my shopping today, thought i'd swing by rite-aid (at which i rarely shop) real quick, grab the few things i wanted, and head on to store number 3. it turned out to not be real quick, but rather real pain. had i not had a coupon to get $4 off a $20 purchase, i probably wouldn't have caught the mistake by the cashier. my bill was too low, but i couldn't quite figure out why. i told the employee that something must not be right b/c the total was too low for me to use my coupon. i couldn't have been off by that much in my calculations. i put the coupon back, paid for my things, and started out for the car. before leaving, i pulled out the receipt to see why i'd done so well. i spotted almost immediately that my most expensive item had not been rung up yet the coupon getting $2 off had. not only had i not paid for the item, i actually got paid $2 for it! i sighed b/c i knew i had to do the right thing, and the right thing would probably not be easy. lo and behold...it took over 20 minutes to get it straightened out. i'm sure there had to be a better way, and about halfway through the correction, i think we were all wishing i had just kept on driving. it cost me an extra $7, too, but i guess that's ok.

i know i did what was right. i wouldn't have been ok knowing that i had taken advantage of someone else's mistake. it reminded me of what my daughter lily had done a few months ago. she had gotten under-charged at wal-mart. she made me go the next day and fix the problem. i must confess. i was not happy about that one. it was just a dollar or so, and it just didn't feel worth it. i'm sure at some point i'd gotten over-charged at wal-mart so i figured it would even out in the end. however, that was not the point. i couldn't in good conscience let lily down. this could have been a defining moment for her. i've always tried to be a good role model for my kids, so this couldn't be ignored. i was so proud of her honesty and integrity. i think her example inspired me to do the right thing today. it took a lot of time and a few bucks, but it puts a smile on my face. i know, too, that GOD rewards us in other ways when we take the right path rather than the convenient one. thanks, lily, you're an inspiration.

it's time the church do some self-assessment

i was reading the blog of my friend, chris maxwell, this morning. it's an interview with gary moon, an author and christian psychologist, who has written a new book. i wanted to share a question that chris posed and gary's very wise and timely response. to read the article in full, click on the link at the bottom. also included is the info on where to purchase gary's new book.

this is why i wanted to share this: i believe it would be wise for the church (in general) to do some fearless, honest self-assessment. i was actually thinking that myself this morning. have you read any religious articles recently from mainstream media? or better yet, the comments from readers? the "world" doesn't view the church in a good light. the good news is that this negative view is not so much about GOD. unfortunately, it's more about the people within the church. we've earned that poor reputation by our attitudes and actions. it's time the church step out of its bubble and see what the negative vibes are all about. we may be surprised. time to ask the tough questions? yeah, i think so. it may be time to rebuild on the solid foundation.

chris: How can local churches in our culture begin grasping the truth about Apprenticeship?

gary: Dallas Willard has said that the two biggest obstacles to authentic transformation are: 1) caring too much about the opinions of others; and 2) caring too much about money. Along those lines, I think the first thing a local church would need to do is a fearless self-assessment, asking the tough questions, have we come to care too much about our reputation and about money. What I'm trying to say is that it is very important to get first things, first, to build on a solid foundation. An apprenticeship model cannot work if the foundation of a church or a person is sand, instead of solid ground. After that, and at the risk of seeming redundant, I think spiritual transformation is a matter of vision, intention and means.

http://www.chrismaxwellweb.com/blog/2009/10/apprenticeship-conversation-with-gary.htm

http://www.amazon.com/Apprenticeship-Jesus-Learning-Live-Master/dp/080106841X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1254596961&sr=8-1

taking the high road

i find myself at a crossroads. one road goes up. the other road goes down. i know the significance of the roads. i will either choose to go up and take the proverbial high road, or i will take the low road...and well, we all know what that means.

i read in a book recently in which the author said that you will never regret taking the high road. and i know he's right. he's been around a lot longer than i, and i'm sure he has more experiences than i. i know that i will choose the high road, but then there's this one part that wants to lash out, to get revenge and be on the low road. i've avoided that road thus far. i've treated everyone with respect. it cost me, too. the high road is not without its toll. you pay dearly to take it, but i'm sure you don't pay nearly as much in the long run with the high road as you do in taking the low road.

at least i know that i've followed biblical principles like i find in romans 12:18: "if it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with everyone." i've done the best i could. i have peace, and i can move forward with what GOD has for me to do.

according to philippians 4, GOD's peace guards our hearts and minds. and that's a good thing because i know that if i try to guard my own heart, it becomes hardened with hatred and bitterness. i will eventually be closed off from GOD and people, but if i let GOD's peace guard my heart and mind, he'll keep it safe and soft.

GOD, guard my heart and my mind. keep me soft and loving and caring. protect me from bitterness. take my hand and guide me toward the high road. it is closer to you, and that's where i desire to be.

living a life of integrity

i try to live my life with integrity. in order to do that i have to be a whole person. remember in school when we learned about integers? they're whole numbers. integrity is about being a whole person.

we tend to think integrity is all about character, but that's only part of the picture. integrity includes character, but it also includes competence in our field/ministry and chemistry with those around us.

i spent a few years living life as an incomplete person. i had the competence, but my character and chemistry were lacking. because of some situations in my life, i had let bitterness sink deeply in my heart, which in turn affected my chemistry with those around me. i couldn't connect with others. i didn't trust others.that's when i decided to start my journey towards wholeness. when the bitterness got too uncomfortable and my fear of people robbed me of my joy, i knew i had to change. it's not easy being an outgoing person who's afraid of people.

i know i have issues left to deal with, and they will be confronted over time. i have a list. it includes people and issues that i need to forgive. the first time i made this list, it was 3 pages long...front and back. that's a lot of junk. it's now down to half a page. i began praying for those people and journaling about my situations, my issues, my hatred. i also have trusted friends that help me process and pray through the junk in my life. though my approach won't work for everyone, it has worked wonders for me. my confidence, my laughter, my peace are returning. i thank GOD that he loves me too much to let me stay like i am.