Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I'm Sinking, and I Can't Rise Up



God,

Remember that time a few years ago when I sang this song to you?

Lord, I believe in You
I'll always believe in You
Though I cant see you with my eyes
Deep in my heart
Your presence I find
Lord, I believe in You
And I'll keep my trust in You
Let the whole world say what they may
No one can take this joy away
Lord, I believe 

I must confess. Instead of walking on water, I feel like I'm sinking. Doubt, rejection and disappointment are starting to pull me under. I'm struggling to hold onto my trust and joy. I feel them slipping out of my hands. I so desperately need to find your presence again. I don't know why it eludes me. You, more than anyone else, know my struggles. I have been through enough to know you are near, but your silence really hurts my heart.

I want to trust that everything is as it should be, that you have a plan for me. I know I only see in part, that your ways are higher than my own. But it's getting more difficult each day to believe.

I need to know you're with me. I need to feel like you see me, like you understand my heart.

I don't need epic signs and wonders. Just a little whisper, a small assurance will do.

I'm still a little broken, so don't leave me hanging. You know how I get. =)

Me just being me,
Hope

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