my thoughts about church and having the courage to change

the last couple of weeks, my family has had church at home. i know it sounds really strange in this day and time to do that, but it's not a radical idea. it's how the church got started to begin with. we've been teaching our kids about the early church in the book of acts. early christians met in homes. they ate together, they worshiped together, they learned together, and they took care of each other.



i've had a number of invitations to church. it's kind of funny. people think we don't go to church anymore. quite the contrary. there's a move today to go back to the new testament model of home churches. it's not that we don't go to church. we do. it's just a little different than what we've grown accustomed to.



somewhere along the way, we lost touch with what church is really about. church is about the people rather than the building. it's about reaching out to a world of people and showing them JESUS in the way we walk, talk, live and give. it's not about pleasing people inside the church. it's about us living a life that pleases GOD.



i think i've had enough of church politics and powerful personalities for a while. i've seen enough of the dark side. i have always been a champion for church. i've been the first to say that though it has its flaws, it's still the best thing. but now i wonder. i think it's time for us to really examine the church. it has to be more than just a social hour. it has to be a place where we are challenged and changed, not a place where we demand our needs for comfort be met.



GOD, show me what it's really all about. i want more. i want to be challenged. i don't want to hide any longer inside the walls of the church building. i want to make a real difference in the world around me. i want to know what the gospel is about in its purest form. i know that this will require much from me. i know this will cost me. so please impart courage to my heart and make it fearless. give me the grace i need to do your will. it's time for me to step out of the boat and onto the water where you are. i'm scared. help me do it anyway.

LORD, you get me! you sooo get me!

life is full of challenges. that's a fact. whether we ask for it or not, we will face them. i'm in the process of recovering from a challenge, one that i feel i handled well. nonetheless, it wipes me out both physically and emotionally and sometimes leaves me a little depressed.


i found GOD to be really sweet and attentive to me yesterday. i was washing the dishes and listening to pandora radio. check it out if you haven't already. good stuff. anyway, at the time, i'm feeling a little down. one by one, these incredibly uplifting songs by these incredibly gifted female singers get radio play. by the 4th song, i'm feeling like a little girl dancing around on GOD's feet. what a sweet feeling. i love feeling like a little girl in the arms of my great big PAPA GOD. songs like "beauty from pain" by superchick and "you get me" by zoegirl washed over my rundown spirit and gave me hope and a smile.


i love those GOD moments, those times when it feels like GOD takes an extra-special interest in you and hand-crafts each song, each word, each moment to let you know just how loved you really are. that's my GOD, and i love him. thanks, GOD, for our little moment yesterday. you soooo get me!

wearing pink today

cancer strikes again. this time it's a friend from times past...angie sanders. she's having surgery today, scheduled for 9:30 am. she's the reason i'm in pink today.

all who read this, please send up a prayer for her. here's mine:

dear GOD in heaven, i thank you for who you are and all that you do. i am grateful that you are a GOD who heals, and i'm asking you to do just that for angie. heal her body, keep her mind and spirit strong, and give her peace as she undergoes surgery this morning. give insight to her medical staff. guide their hands. be with them as they care for angie. bring peace, strength and comfort to her family and friends. thanks, GOD! i know we can count on you to do this and even more. amen

maturity is overrated according to my daughter

maturity is overrated. don't believe me? just ask my 11-year-old daughter. we had an interesting conversation friday afternoon when i picked her up early from school. she informed me that she was in the immature 6th grade class. she said everyone always talks about how much more mature the other class is. apparently, she's given this a lot of thought. her response? whatever...at least we'll live longer and be happy. i may have to agree with her on that.

katy's a bright young lady who has really begun to shine in recent years. when she was younger, she had a speech problem, a lateral lisp, which made her actually sound german in the way she pronounced some of her words. i would have killed for that lisp when i had a quarter of german diction in college. =) it left her feeling insecure, shy, sensitive and extremely quiet. but she's got a little of her momma's spunk in her. one day, a kid was making fun of the way she talked. i was in another room but i clearly heard her say that there was nothing wrong with her. she's just different. and she wore that with a confidence that i quickly admired. good for her!

katy has since gotten speech therapy, and she hasn't stopped talking. the transformation was astounding! she's now a bubbly, athletic, outgoing, kind-hearted little lady who has grown in confidence. and she's fine with being considered immature. she told me the story because she knew i'd understand. i get accused of being immature and too young to understand and i'm 35! at least i'm happy. so is my daughter.

don't take life too seriously. do the dizzies with a 3-year-old. go play in the rain. laugh at a stupid joke. do something crazy. do an activity that you know you're terrible at but you enjoy nonetheless. life is too short. it's not all about the destination. it's about the journey. might as well enjoy it. it's the only one you got. thanks, katy, for your 11-year-old wisdom!

taking the high road

i find myself at a crossroads. one road goes up. the other road goes down. i know the significance of the roads. i will either choose to go up and take the proverbial high road, or i will take the low road...and well, we all know what that means.

i read in a book recently in which the author said that you will never regret taking the high road. and i know he's right. he's been around a lot longer than i, and i'm sure he has more experiences than i. i know that i will choose the high road, but then there's this one part that wants to lash out, to get revenge and be on the low road. i've avoided that road thus far. i've treated everyone with respect. it cost me, too. the high road is not without its toll. you pay dearly to take it, but i'm sure you don't pay nearly as much in the long run with the high road as you do in taking the low road.

at least i know that i've followed biblical principles like i find in romans 12:18: "if it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with everyone." i've done the best i could. i have peace, and i can move forward with what GOD has for me to do.

according to philippians 4, GOD's peace guards our hearts and minds. and that's a good thing because i know that if i try to guard my own heart, it becomes hardened with hatred and bitterness. i will eventually be closed off from GOD and people, but if i let GOD's peace guard my heart and mind, he'll keep it safe and soft.

GOD, guard my heart and my mind. keep me soft and loving and caring. protect me from bitterness. take my hand and guide me toward the high road. it is closer to you, and that's where i desire to be.

what he did right

What He Did Right…
From the Mom’s Point of View

As usual, our date was lasting longer than it should. I was sure my mother was about to flash the front door lights to warn me that I needed to come inside. I sat on the hood of David’s gray ’95 Ford Mustang with T-tops. He stood in front of me with his hands around my tiny waist as we talked about our future plans together. We discussed everything from past loves to children. I had no doubt David would be a great father, but I wasn’t sure he knew it.

David never really knew his father. He left the family when David was a very young child. Though he talked very little about it and seemed to not be affected by it, I realized one day about the time we were expecting our first child that David was haunted by a recurring thought. His eyes were moist as he posed the questions, “What if I can’t handle being a father? What if I want to leave, too?” There were so many qualities I admired about my husband, loyalty being among them. I knew he could never leave. David confronted his demons that day. I’ve never heard those questions since.

We’ve been married now for 18 years and have four amazing children. Those early years were tough. I was a stay-at-home mom with 4 kids under the age of 5. I never could have gotten through those sleep-deprived years without such a loyal, involved, loving father to my children. I treasured our date nights and those evenings when he’d watch the kids so I could meet up with a friend at the coffee house or the mall. He took our two little boys to watch high school football games on Friday nights so I could catch up on housework or enjoy the company of a friend, and he’d get up occasionally with the babies in the middle of the night so I could get the rest I needed to make it through the next day. Those little acts of selflessness kept me sane.

As our kids got old enough to play sports, David became more than their dad. He became their coach. Not only did he teach our kids the skills necessary for the sports they played, but he taught them teamwork and sportsmanship. He demonstrated his selflessness and loyalty once again by giving up some of his own recreational activities, including his beloved softball. He says it’s because he was getting too old to play, but I know he wouldn’t have missed this time in his children’s lives for anything.

Our kids are all in middle school and high school now. After years of arranging his schedule around a game or a recital, and after a career change and a move so our kids could get a better education, David continues to be a shining example of what a father should be. Our family is entering a new season of life together. As our kids approach dating age, David has resumed his dating life, too, with the mother of his children. And in so doing, our boys are learning to be respectful young men and our daughters are learning what they should expect from future boyfriends.

I was right all along. David has been a great father from day one. He overcame his doubts and fears about fatherhood and has been an inspiration for other men desiring to be great fathers themselves. He couldn’t change his past. He couldn’t trade in the hand he’d been dealt. But he made decisions each day to be the best he could be. After years of good decisions, David can be proud of the man, the husband and the father he’s become.

humbly grateful or grumbly hateful?

a few years ago, david spent a few days at a monastery with a group of colleagues. one of the things he said was absolutely prohibited and not tolerated at the monastery was grumbling. now i think i understand why. grumbling changes people. it changes those people who do it, it changes those people who listen to it, it changes those people who are victims of it. even if one doesn't participate in it actively, they become passively involved when they give ear to it which leads to their active participation the more they're around it. they start viewing everything through the filter of the grumbling.

why is it that we are so willing to listen to a lie but not the truth? why is it that we would rather believe what we hear from a grumbler than believe what we see from the one being grumbled about? grumbling destroys people and ministries and relationships. it's a dangerous thing.

i was told as a child that if you aren't the one talking about someone but you listen, you're just as guilty as the one doing the talking. i was told to try to stop it or walk away from it.

the Bible says that we should deal with people honestly, that we should look out for others, that we should love and respect each other. if you have a problem with someone, you should try to work it out. romans 12:18 says, "if it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with others." there's no peace in grumbling.

we have a choice... humbly grateful or grumbly hateful. what will we choose today?