Have Mercy

There is a time to lovingly speak truth, and there is a time to shut up and show mercy. Mercy and judgement have always been difficult for us Christians. We tend to fall into extremes. That's human nature. 

I've said for years that if I am to err, I should err on the side of mercy. The merciful will obtain mercy, and the measure in which you judge others will be the measure in which you will be judged. I'm not perfect. We all fall short. And whoever is without sin...go ahead...cast the first stone.

According to a recent study, the church is considered to be judgmental in general and to be hateful towards people who live alternative lifestyles. We Christians are called to live holy and righteous personal lives. We are also called to show love and respect to others. 

Yes, we sometimes need tough love and to also give that tough love to others, but we are not called to be others' holy spirit. There is one already that has the responsibility to guide and convict, and he does it much better than we can. 

Because we are loving and merciful, we desire to share life and truth with others, but we cannot and should not force our way onto others. God gives us free will. Who are we to not allow others that same free will? 

I try to live a holy life because I love and respect God and others around me. I try to show mercy to those who, like myself, fall short and struggle. And I think it is perfectly biblical to teach and advocate mercy, love, grace and forgiveness, just as it is biblical to teach about sin, repentance and hell. 

I'm a little bothered because of all the things I've read and heard over the past few months from Christians who have chosen to speak so much judgement and so little mercy. 

God is love, and with that love comes an element of holiness as well as mercy. In my years of life and ministry, I have found it is often much easier to try to make others be holy, and it is so much harder to live honestly and transparently and with mercy and forgiveness. 

Lately, I have found myself asking God what the Gospel was intended to be before we Christians got a hold of it and transformed it into what we have now. I desire to find that pure, unadulterated Good News that Jesus lived and taught. I pray that I can live out the great command to love God with everything in me and to love people as I love myself. 

The older I get, the more I realize I have to learn, the further I have to go. God, may you continue to increase in my life, and may my way and will continue to decrease...until everything I am resembles you.

a new journey is beginning...and it's all good

I am not the same person I used to be. I have always struggled with self esteem. I have struggled with making decisions, sharing an opinion, speaking my mind, assessing my worth.

I am not that woman anymore. That wounded, unsure, fearful person has blossomed into a confident, emotionally healthy, adventurous one.

I am about to enter into a new phase of my life. In May 2012, I will graduate from Georgia State University with  a degree in Journalism/Public Relations and will emerge a career woman.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous. OK...truth be told, I'm stressed to the point that my facial tic is back. Dern that eye twitch!

Seriously though, my cup runneth over. I don't know what the future holds, but I am excited about it nonetheless.

I caught myself saying the other day that I'm good at what I do. Those words coming from my mouth to my ears surprised me. I've never felt this confident before. 

I thank God for those he has strategically placed in my path. I thank God for a supportive family. I even thank God for my struggles. All this has led me to where I am now.

You know, in Genesis, every time God finished a phase in his creation, he ended it by saying that it was good. Well, I'm gonna follow his lead.

As I finish up this phase of my life, I must say (in the Hammond family way)...like gravy on a biscuit, baby, it's all good...it's all good!


that cute pic came from ...http://tulsafood.com/talk/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/I-HEART-BISCUITS-GRAVY.jpg

Making the Most of It

Public speaking...everyone's favorite pastime, right?

Yeah...not hardly.

But it is a requirement for graduation, and I could put it off no longer.

So I decided to make the most of it and just have fun with it. Turns out...it's one of my favorite classes now. Of course, it doesn't hurt that the teacher is incredibly gifted at teaching and has made this an enjoyable experience. She knows her stuff and is passionately creative about it. And just yesterday, she let us out early. Gotta love that! Go Ms. Kofoed!!!

I'm not just getting more comfortable at giving speeches, but I'm learning to take some risks and to slow down. I've become more confident and have found out a little bit more about myself and how I'm perceived.

I know that public speaking is not what I do best, although my professor says I'm a natural speaker if only I'd slow down! I know I'm not the best speaker in my class, and that's ok. But I own what I do, and I'm just enjoying being myself. Come to find out...I'm considered very personable when giving speeches even if I do sound like a chipmunk on crack. Thus, I'm learning to slow down. 

I maintain that it's not that I speak too fast, it's that people in the South think too slow!

I've enjoyed learning my lesson of how to make the best of a not so desirable situation. I'm praying that will carryover into other areas of life as well. Although the situation definitely requires stretching myself and results in growth, I am finding out that the journey can be a lot of fun in the process. Learning is lifelong, and I'm finally embracing that. And while I'm at it, I'm learning to have fun with it.

It's funny the things God uses to teach us. In this case, public speaking class.  Who knew?

Hating People Into the Kingdom?

"You're going to hell!"

"You're an abomination!"

"God hates you, sinner! Repent!"

...and the list goes on. These are just a few of the statements that non-Christian friends of mine have heard by "Christian" groups "evangelizing."

Does anyone actually think it works to hate people into heaven? It both breaks my heart and angers me to see my friends being treated this way. I can assure you these tactics do not work.

Sometimes I think it's a miracle that I haven't been rejected by my friends for being a Christian, but they tend to be somewhat more accepting of people different from themselves.

And so was Jesus.

He was criticized by the religious crowd for associating with the ungodly people in his day. Unless I'm mistaken, he never tried to hate them into the kingdom. Instead he taught us to love those within our reach as we love ourselves. He ate with "sinners." He cared for women and children. He touched and healed the diseased. He fed the hungry.

The bottom line is that we are called to love God and love people. We are told to treat people like we want to be treated. We are shown the example of serving others. Jesus lived this himself. His example should inspire us to go out and do likewise. After all, he changed the world doing this.

And I believe we can change our world by following Jesus' example. What if we ate with sinners? What if hung out with those rejected by others? What if we said "Thank you" to those who serve us rather than treating them like it's their job to cater to our every desire? What if we said, "God cares about you" rather than screaming that he hates them? So many what ifs.

I guess I just have a heavy heart because it seems that more and more Christians are missing the point of Christianity. It's not just in the big things, but in the little things we do. And that includes our attitudes and motivations. It just shouldn't be that way.

But it should be this way:

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! --Galatians 5:22-23

I don't want to miss a thing...



L to R: Jonathan, Lily, Katy, Leyah (Matthew's girlfriend), Matthew



It's official. The season leading up to the empty nest has begun. My oldest is a high school senior. Next week, my baby turns 13.

I've always known they'd grow up one day. And I knew that when my first one got there, the others would be quick to follow.

I had four children in less than five years. With three in diapers and a wild toddler into everything, I felt sometimes that they would never grow up. I longed for them to grow up. Now I wish those days had lasted just a little bit longer. They were precious.

But I think if I could freeze any season of their lives, it would be now. I know it sounds crazy, but I love the teen years. There is so much excitement, so much hope. My kids are beginning to think about whom they want to be, what they want to do, and with whom they want to share it. I love watching this unfold. My husband and I have been blessed. We have good kids, and we're so very proud of them.

I've always been hesitant to give parenting advice, but I think I've earned the right now.

So here it goes:

• Cherish the moments you have with your children for time passes quickly.
• Take advantage of teachable moments, those times when you choose not to punish but rather choose to explain life through their mistakes or the mistakes of others, including your own.
• Look at your kids when they talk to you. Get down on their eye level. If you all learn to converse when they're younger, they'll keep talking when they're older. And get unlimited texting. It's fun to text your kids especially when they're in the same room with you.
• Ask yourself often, "Will this matter five years from now?" If so, address it. If not, let it go. Choose your battles.
• Go to their games, their recitals, their practices. Don't just drop them off. They love to know you're watching them and cheering them on.
• Remember your responsibility is to help your children not need you. I know it sounds harsh, and it bruises the ego. But consider this: our time with our children is limited. In that limited time we need to teach them independence, character, grounded thinking and faith. We give them the tools they need to succeed in life.

But don't worry. They always come back to us. They'll always need us for love, advice, support and gas money. But they'll be able to stand on their own two feet and take risks because we did a good job preparing them for their future.

I can't believe this time has come. Forgive me if I'm not available as much, but these next few years belong to my family. I don't want to miss a thing. I think that's the way it ought to be.

Growing Old Gracefully

As I grow older and experience more of life, I find it increasingly challenging to keep a soft heart. Reasons to be disillusioned, negative and closed off loom in various places, and those places seem to multiply at a rapid pace.

And that's a problem for me because I envision myself growing old gracefully, embracing life and living to the fullest. When I close my eyes, I see a vivacious, smiling, seasoned woman surrounded by friends and family...and lots and lots of grandchildren.

Allowing myself to be distracted by challenges, inconveniences and negativity threatens my dream of blissful existence.

A few years ago, I met a woman with many years behind her. It's safe to say she's seen a lot that could make her disillusioned, bitter and cold; yet she smiles more than anyone else I've ever known. As she speaks to others, her love and enthusiasm spread in a splendidly contagious way. People leave her presence feeling better about the world and life in general.

She says her body doesn't work like it use to, but that's okay because every day is a gift from God. She feels blessed to be alive.

She has a soft heart. She's who I want to be: a gracious, kind, loving and splendidly contagious woman.

I heard her tell someone once that she just loves life, she loves children, and she is grateful for all her many blessings.

Perhaps gratitude is the key: thanking God for all the blessings and for all the challenges. Perhaps bliss is a result of surrendering our circumstances to God and trusting that he's working it all out for our good.

I can't always choose my surroundings, but I can choose to be grateful. I can't always choose my path, but I can choose to trust God with my unknowns.

And as I grow older and my body gradually stops working like it used to, I can smile a genuine smile knowing that though my heart is aging, it's as soft as it's ever been. And perhaps I'll serve as inspiration to another generation to love, laugh and cherish life.

what lies beneath

most of an iceberg is found beneath the water's surface, and most of what is real about a person is found underneath layers of skin.

as much i try to be real and transparent, i have parts of myself that i keep hidden away. i won't share these places with anyone. i've become very good at pushing them deeper and deeper. sometimes i even forget they are there.

i feel as if God places a mirror in front of me, and no matter where i turn that mirror is always before me. i can't look away. i am forced to see myself. but unlike mirrors that only show the exterior, God's mirrors reveal what lies beneath.

i see the pain i've buried in the corner of my heart, the hate i've crumpled up and swept to the side, the sins i've attempted to whitewash so they don't look so hideous.

and i confess. the words, the emotions rush past my lips with the force of a mighty waterfall.