my decision to get involved at church

lately, i've been toying with the idea of getting more involved at my church. i've dreamed for some time about how church could be, and so many of the ideas i've had, i actually see going on at avalon. even today, i leaned over and told my hubby..."if i had done that, i'd have gotten into trouble. I LOVE THIS PLACE!"

i love going to church in blue jeans and a sweatshirt. i even went last week without any makeup, and it didn't bother me a bit...and no one gave me "the look." i'm a good person, but church people have a tendency to make me feel like i don't measure up, that i'm not acceptable, that i'm a troublemaker, that there's something wrong with me. but i don't feel like that at avalon. one of my kids and i were talking a couple of weeks ago about church in general. he said he liked avalon and that it helps that they're nice there. and nice, they really are. and relaxed. and happy. and non-judgmental. i really fear being judged by church people. i hate feeling inferior and lacking. but in the months we've been at avalon, i can honestly say that i have never felt that way...and no one is more surprised than i.

and now i think i've waited, watched and tested them enough. i told the hubby this morning that i think i want to get involved in their outreach program called HOPE. i'll take it slowly. i don't have a problem with GOD consuming my life, but i never want to get myself into another situation in which i let church consume my life. my family comes before my church. and GOD comes before all else.

just making the decision to show interest in a ministry at any church is a huge step for me. i think it's time though. i finally feel like i'm home. i finally feel like it's safe. i finally feel like i've found a place i can be myself and get into some really fun trouble with some really good people. and somehow, i think GOD would approve.

i think that's GOD's way of telling me, "merry christmas!" and what a wonderful gift it is! GOD, you totally rock, and i sooo adore you!

below is the link to MY church! check it out! =)

http://avalonchurch.net/

thinking about thinking

my oldest son used to have a basketball coach when we lived in northeast georgia who was loud, demonstrative, and passionate. he was a nice guy though some feared him.

the thing the coach was famous for was his repeated use of a one-word instructional phrase, which could be heard many times...and very loudly, i might add. someone would do something wrong or careless on the court, and you knew it was coming. his hands would ball into a fist, his index fingers would extend and beat at his temples, and he'd start yelling, "THINK! THINK!" ...an image i will not soon forget. our family has mimicked it many times. good times. good times.

i don't know what brought that memory to mind today, but i started thinking about thinking.

i hear so much in the church world- fallacies in our thinking and reasoning, and inconsistencies in our beliefs and behavior- and i get this all-too-familiar picture in my head again of the coach yelling "THINK!" and i wish he were around to say it.

thinking is a powerful thing, and we should do more of it. i try always to encourage my children to think for themselves and to search truth for themselves. though i guide them, i try not to tell them what they should think. i want for them to learn to think critically. i think that will better prepare them for life. i know some parents who fear their children being exposed to schools of thought different from their own particularly when it comes to religious ideologies and traditions, but since i firmly believe that JESUS is the truth,  i don't fear my kids questioning what they've been taught. when they question, we take the time to explore. the words, "because i said so" are rarely used and usually are applied to the completion of undesirable household chores. if you're a parent, you sooo know what i mean. the nike slogan, "just do it" applies to the cleaning of rooms.

we've discussed clothes, tattoos, cussing, fairness, spiritual authority doctrine, and music to name a few topics. we're real, open and honest with our kids. i'm fine that my kids occasionally address the "elephant in the room." truth be told, i'm glad they can spot one. i'm also glad that they don't "drink the kool-aid" just because someone told them that it's the submissive, christian thing to do. don't get me wrong, though. we do teach that when we challenge, we must do so with respect. the Bible says to be aware, to be shrewd, to study, to test, to ask. i believe that GOD encourages us to think and to question. i think he loves it when we do. it shows we are working out our salvation and learning to walk what we're talking. he created us to think, to learn, to mature. and i don't think GOD gets angry when we question him. i think he enjoys opening up the dialogue and revealing himself to us.

so the next time someone tells you what to think, think about it. think critically about it. ask questions. seek truth and understanding. know not just what you believe but why you believe it. simply having an opinion doesn't make you rebellious or disrespectful. it does give you power, though, so handle it with care...and probably a little prayer.

reflecting on my first semester

it feels so good to accomplish something. a few months ago, i took a leap of faith and applied to georgia state university. this past friday, i finished up my first semester of classes. i only have finals, and then i'm done until january. i can hardly believe it.

i used to be afraid to drive in atlanta. now, i do it three days a week or more. i used to be afraid of large schools. now i attend one with over 30,000 students. i used to be insecure and unsure. now i'm inching ever-so-closely to confidence. i experienced so many "firsts" and comfort-stretching situations. and now i'm a better person for having done it. i've learned persistence pays off...if you haven't heard, i FINALLY got awarded the hope scholarship this year!!!

i wanted to get started on my career, but i also wanted to get out of my church bubble and meet new and different people. that's been my favorite part. i'm going to miss the ones i've gotten to know over the past few weeks, but i'm looking forward to making even more friends. i have enjoyed chatting it up with muslims and atheists and people from all over the world. and i thank GOD that he has allowed our paths to cross. i hope i've added as much value to their lives as they've added to mine.

looking forward to new challenges..but first, i have to get through finals week! it's all good, though!

open and honest communication with GOD

i haven't felt much like blogging lately with all the essays and assignments i've had for school. sorry about that.

i was clearing out some emails this evening, and i came across a blog post from one of my heroes. she goes to therapy. good for her. i've wondered if i should, too, sometimes. trying to heal from my past and deal with junk as it comes becomes a bit of a daunting task at times. anyway, she wrote something that kind of hit me hard...she's decided to be honest in her sessions even if she sounds like a jerk. i love her honesty and real-ness.

i think i've not been so honest with GOD lately in my relationship and in my talks with him. i'm feeling like i'm holding back because i don't want to give him the junk in my life. as i read the blog tonight, i had a thought...how stupid is it to withhold who i really am and what i'm really feeling from the one who knows it all?

so, this week, i'm determined to be more open and honest in my communication with him. as i've said countless times over the years...GOD already knows what's in my heart; he's just waiting for me to be honest with myself. so, GOD...ready or not...here it comes!..even if i sound like a jerk...

what i love about my church

church should be a place where a person can be himself/herself. a place where the honesty, acceptance, love and real-ness just melts away everything plastic, everything artificial about us. i smile every time i start to walk into my church, avalon church, in mcdonough, georgia.

though everything they do for the service on sunday morning is done with more excellence than i've ever seen at a church before, it's obvious that the sunday morning service is not the sum of all they do at avalon. it's a part of the whole. and it makes me feel good knowing that church there is more than one meeting a week. it's about who we are. we are the church, and worshiping and serving GOD is something we do all the time, not just on sunday mornings or in a small group.

i love that my pastor is not the only preacher (although he's a very good one). i love that outreach is part of the ethos. i love that we can speak frankly, that we can come as we are, that creativity and excellence are what's normal. i love that i'm encouraged to be part of something greater than myself. i love that i'm greeted by people who seem to genuinely love, who are happy to be there, who are happy that i'm there.

i'm proud to say that avalon is my church, and for those who know my struggles with the institution of church, that's a pretty major thing. =)

http://www.avalonchurch.net/   check it out! and come join us!

young people know it all...what a relief!

i love college. i really do. i love meeting new people. i love being challenged intellectually. it's a great experience. but there are a few things i'm not fond of. for starters, twenty-year-old snots giving me lectures about the "real world" and their idea that somehow they are intellectually superior as well. i've been a stay-at-home mom for years. i'll admit that i don't have much paid work experience, but that doesn't mean i'm stupid. the majority of stay-at-home moms don't have time to sit in front of the tv all day watching soap operas. we volunteer, we manage households, we become experts in time management, we chauffeur children back and forth, we make appointments, we teach our children, we diagnose ailments, we stay up late working on school projects, we organize activities, we create meals, we purchase goods, we work with other moms and groups of people, and much, much more. we may not get paid, but we certainly aren't stupid. well, guess what...this mom has better grades than you! ha!

call me a goody-goody because i value honesty and reliability. in the real world, i get to keep my job and credibility. call me a suck-up (language cleaned up due to young readers) because i'm nice and respectful to others. in the real world, that behavior gets me respected and furthers my career if i'm sincere, which i am. you may think you know it all, but here's the thing. i got married about the time you were born. i think i have a clue about this real world of which you speak. don't worry about me. i'll be just fine. and when you wonder why i have a smile on my face when you're trying to teach me about the real world, it's because i'm laughing at you on the inside and wondering what adults thought of me when i, too, knew it all.

so... what if you're wrong?

why are we so quick to assume that we are right  and everyone else is wrong? why do we act like we have cornered the market on what is true? why do we think our interpretation is the correct one or better yet, the only one? why do we demonize those with differing opinions?

here's a question...

what if we're wrong?

seriously...what if WE are wrong? what if there are many ways to look at a situation? what if what we thought was black and white turns out to be a beautiful shade of gray? what if there are multiple interpretations of the same text? what if those people who have different opinions are not evil, angry people with agendas?

WHAT IF WE LISTENED TO EACH OTHER AND TOOK TIME TO ASK THE QUESTION: COULD I BE WRONG?

according to research by dave kinneman and gabe lyons in unchristian, christians have an image problem. i'm not surprised by this. i've known it for quite some time. outsiders to christianity between the ages of 16 and 29 were asked about their perceptions of christianity and its followers. here's what they found:

91% see christians as anti-homosexual.
87% see christians as judgmental
85% see christians as hypocritical
78% see christians as sheltered (old-fashioned, out of touch with reality)
75% see christians as too political
70% see christians as proselytizers (insensitive to others, not genuiune)

surprised at how we're perceived?

the one i want to concentrate on is the stat about christians being judgmental. it doesn't surprise me. i used to be very judgmental. i was taught to be. it was considered  a christian virtue in the legalistic circles in which i operated.

and then one day, i had a moment. perhaps it was my own version of the damascus experience that the apostle paul had. WHAT IF I'M WRONG? my whole perspective changed. i began to question everything.  i realized that i had judged people unfairly. i realized that i taken on an attitude that i was somehow superior to others because of what i didn't do, because of what i considered sin. i realized that i didn't hold a monopoly on truth.

i could curse those who believe differently from myself.  why not ask questions and learn from them instead?

i could state emphatically that what i believe is correct and that others' interpretations are in error. why not listen to the opinions of others? why not be open to the fact that i could be wrong or that they could have a valid point?

i could demonize others for pointing out that what i've believed all along has fallacies. why not thank them for their courage to challenge the status quo?

here's the point...we need to listen more and judge less. we need to celebrate our diversity. diversity is beautiful. we need to respect each other more. i've heard it almost a million times it seems...people don't care how much we know until they know how much we care. we earn the right to share our opinions when first we've listened and respectfully acknowledged the opinions of others.

so...what if you're wrong?