Monday, March 24, 2014

A New Journey

It's been over a year since I quit blogging. That was interesting and strange for me. I've been sharing my life online for quite some time, and then I just...quit. Part of me didn't really feel like sharing anymore. The other part wanted to try something different.

When I first started my journey to wholeness, I turned to writing songs. Words were not enough. I also needed music to make sense of the turmoil that was going on inside me. A few years later, I felt trapped by rhyme and meter. I turned to blogging. And a few months ago, during my year or so away from blogging, I switched to photography.

I guess I've felt whole, comfortable in my own skin, at peace, totally ok with myself. I'm a little spunkier, a little more aware, a little more inquisitive about life and religion and philosophy, and a lot more curious about God and how he and I fit together. I think I chose photography (or maybe it chose me) because I began seeing the world differently. I saw beauty in what others might consider unsightly. I saw conquering spirit when others saw pain. Everything fascinated me, and I just got this urge to capture it all with my camera. My favorites are the little moments between the poses when people show a glimpse of their true selves.

I love photography, and I am not giving that up any time soon. I feel amazing when I'm behind a camera!

However, I think I'm back to blogging again. This time though it's not because I'm trying to release the pain and anguish churning inside me. It's because I've started another journey...the rest of my life.

My hubby and I are back into ministry. If you've read some of my blogs, then you know that organized religion had a lot to do with the mess I was in, so it seems crazy that I'd return to ministry. Yeah, it was easy just attending church for a while, but something happened. I don't even know when really. I'm sure I'll get blindsided and sucker-punched again before it's all said and done, but this time it's different. I am different.

So I'm a 'pastor's wife.' Not sure about that label, but that's a post for another day. I just couldn't get away from ministry because as much as 'the church' drives me crazy, I love it dearly and want to see it made whole and live up to its potential.

I've updated my skill set. I got a degree in public relations. And while I was at college, I got to know a lot of different people there. God opened my eyes to many things. And he opened my heart.

Here I am again. Ready to share again. And now I begin my new journey. Not a journey of trying to get out of a deficit to living at par, but a journey of discovery and living beyond.

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