Friday, April 16, 2010

can we have it all?

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~ Anais Nin ~

this quote struck me today. i'm at a crossroads in my life. my children are getting ever so much closer to leaving the nest. they are wanting more independence, and quite honestly, so am i. most of my identity has been wrapped up in my kids. since they've gotten older, the hubby and i can resume dating, which is a great thing! one day, the kids will be gone, and i don't want us to be one of those couples who looks at each other from across the room in the quiet, lonely house and says, "who the heck are you?" so we've been reconnecting, rediscovering and preparing for the day when it's again just the two of us. yes, my youngest is 11, so it's not like the nest is going to empty tomorrow, but i know that once the first one goes (and he's 16), the others will quickly follow suit.

i love being a mom. there's nothing else i'd rather be. i love my kids. i love my husband. but something inside of me is telling me, "it's time for you to it's time for you to be... you. it's time for you to realize some of your dreams." i think that voice may have a point. so i talked to my kids and talked to the hubby. and i'm going to take the next step. i'm scared and i'm excited all at the same time. i think it's time for me to blossom.

more to come on my decisions later when i'm ready to share. too early in the game to reveal all my secrets to everyone! =)

on the view this morning, the women were discussing, "can women have it all?" had i been there, i think would have responded, "yes, but not all at the same time and not without the help of others." they were agreed. you have to have someone in your life who supports and encourages you. i am so blessed to have that in my life.

i have found that i'm good at helping others find their potential and reach their goals. now it's time i start doing the same for me. i think i may have finally decided what i want to be when i grow up. hmm. maybe i can have it all, so to speak. we'll see. i'm already most of the way there.


Amy said...

I can relate, Hope. I was recently interviewed by a radio station about the fact that I am going back to school. They wanted to know what prompted me and what I would say to anyone thinking about making a big change in their lives. What prompted me is that God opened the door and pushed me through it. :p As for the other question, what I would say is "Yes, it is scary. Yes, it will be tough. But, I just keep remembering 2 Timothy 1:7, Jeremiah 29:11, and Romans 8:28. If it His plan, He will work it out and see you through it. You don't have to do it alone. So, we don't have to be afraid. There's a book by John Ortberg called 'If You Want to Walk on Water, You've Got to Get Out of the Boat.' I love that title! I am reading the book. Granted, Peter fell the first time he walked on water. But, he took that step out of the boat and did actually walk. And, the second time, he walked all the way to the shore. He wasn't afraid. We have to take that step out of the boat. That's what faith and hope are all about. Just remember that He is there. If we fall, He's there to pick us up. I still have moments when I ask God, 'Is this really where you want me?' So, I still have those second thoughts. I really have that when I meet people that are surprised at where I am in my life. I'm back in school. I've never been married. I don't have any kids. But, I can't measure my life by them. I have to measure it by Him. And, He always urges me on. I know that I have to keep my eyes on Him. And, I have to be glad that I'm not still a 'boat potato.'

hope hammond said...

wow! such great thoughts. thanks for sharing your own journey, and thanks for your encouragement.