all this week, i've been struggling and trying to work through something. i hate feeling misunderstood. i hate people saying things that aren't true about me or making incorrect assumptions about me. i hate that i care too much what other people think about me.
i probably need to have a thicker skin, but my sensitivity is one of the things that has made me a good worship leader and minister. it's tough. i'd be lying to myself if i just glossed over it and said it doesn't hurt. it does.
a wise friend gave me some advice when i asked him about how to develop a thicker skin. he said that it's better to care and get hurt than to have a bitter and cold heart. he said that talking it out with a trusted person is helpful. another wise person told me that you have to learn to walk in forgiveness. i try. i really do. i can usually forgive an offense...eventually. it's the residual stuff that gets me.
i can honestly say that i'm doing the best i can. it's not as hard this time, but it stings nonetheless. my friend is right though. it's better to hurt and care. bitterness is one thing i never want to experience again.
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"Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you on my behalf. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets before you" Matthew 5:11-12.
Its not easy. To turn the other cheek and let others say things that hurt. Its not easy to take the high road and be the better person and do whats right. But, its what you're called to do. Maybe its not about developing a thicker skin, but about loving them like God loves them. About praying FOR them. Maybe its about leaving the whole thing in God's hands.
Its going to hurt--but remember they hurt Jesus too. In the end, you'll be the one who did the right thing. Praying for you!!
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