Wednesday, December 23, 2009

facing fear and finding my voice

i was reading a blog by anne jackson entitled, "fear plays the role of antagonist in the story of your life." if you don't subscribe to her blog, i recommend it. it's at flowerdust.net.

every once in a while someone says something that impacts you in a profound way. anne ended her blog with the statement, "the world needs your story in order to be complete." this upcoming year, i'll be launching a new ministry to young women called "emerge." it's about empowering young women to lead with humility and fearlessness. i struggle so with telling my story and embarking on this new ministry because of fear and insecurity. i hear fear telling me that i'm not qualified, that i'm not a good person, that i'm not a good speaker, that no one will care what i have to say b/c i've not accomplished anything in my lifetime. i think fear may be right sometimes or at least have a point. but i think fear does not have to dictate my future. i do have a story to tell, and i think there are people who need to hear that story. perhaps there are a lot of us who need to know that our story matters and that fear doesn't need to define or hinder us from being and making a difference.

i draw courage from queen esther and her journey (see the book of esther). when she was confronted with the knowledge that she and her people were in trouble and that she was in a position to stop it, she was visited by fear. she finally concluded, "if i must die, i die." and she went ahead with plans to save her people from execution. i read in her words a prayer i've uttered often recently, "i'm scared. help me do it anyway."

GOD has a plan for my life. i don't know all the details. i don't know how it's all going to pan out, but i know i have a story that others need to hear. it may not rock the world, but it may rock somebody's world. the world is not complete without my story. and it's not complete with yours. i'm finding my voice. and over this next year, i desire to help others find theirs.

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