i realized some time ago that my comfort zone had really shrunk, that although i have an outgoing personality i was afraid of people, and that i had the confidence of a scaredy-cat. and then something changed. it must have been when my emotional volcano erupted some time back. i hit my point of desperation, and that's when i changed.
and GOD made all things right. i did something this weekend that surprised even me. david and i were asked to lead a service at a church outside of savannah. i already knew that i was going to need to lead worship, but about midweek, i felt led to speak as well. i was so excited! i really felt like i had GOD's stamp of approval when i read a blog by mark batterson called "a fire shut up in my bones." he quoted the scripture from jeremiah 20:9-- "his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. i am weary of holding it in; indeed, i cannot." that pretty much described my feelings.
so i guess i made my "preaching" debut! lol! i spoke about wrestling with GOD. i was told years ago when i was going through a hard time that when i emerged, i would have a jacob's limp. ever since, jacob's story of wrestling with GOD has been near and dear to my heart. i know i have been marked by GOD. i know i have the blessing and favor of GOD on my life. i shared my story and shared some principles i have learned through studying jacob's experience.
i didn't get nervous at all. on the contrary, i was excited! i always get concerned about my delivery because i don't consider myself to be a great speaker by any stretch. i felt poised and confident. it felt right. i did something fearless. i stretched the boundaries of my comfort zone. and it feels awesome, exhilarating, empowering!
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