Sunday, November 8, 2009

"don't make me pay for what he did to you"

i was sitting in church this morning. a pastor friend of ours invited us to his church for friend day. sitting there waiting for church to begin, GOD spoke to me. let me explain.

i love madea movies. in one movie (i forget which one), this woman is falling for a guy but is having a hard time being in the relationship. the guy knows it and tells her, "stop making me pay for what he did to you."

that's what GOD told me. he said that's what i'm doing to others in my life. i'm making them pay for what people in my past have done to me. i don't want to be that person. if i'm angry or hurt with someone, i should point my anger or hurt in their direction rather than towards those who are in no way associated with it. better yet, i should forgive and let go...not for the offenders, but for me.

there are people on my list who have no idea that they're there. some don't know, but others don't care. some don't deserve my forgiveness, but really...do any of us? only by the grace of GOD i suppose. i have to forgive for me. i've said over and over again that forgiveness doesn't make what happened ok. forgiveness makes me ok. i don't want my baggage to hurt my present or my future. i have to let go for me.

it's not fair to me or those around me to punish them for what others have done to me. i can't let people have that kind of power over me. so this week, i'm working on my "to forgive" list with that in mind.

GOD, help me to not punish others for the offenses committed against me. i want to be free. i want to have that child-like faith, that child-like innocence. i want to trust. i want to be happy. it's hard to be happy when i'm tired b/c of my baggage weighing me down. forgive me for my unforgiveness which has turned into pride...me thinking i can do it without you. thanks for the service this morning and for the pastor's message. it touched my heart. thanks, mic, and thanks barnesville first assembly.

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