what's next?

I was so disappointed earlier this week. I was trying to get a local internship, but I didn't get it. Though my resume was impressive, they decided to go with someone else. Bummer...

I searched for others, but all of them are in Atlanta or farther...with no pay. Again, bummer...

Then I started thinking that maybe God's got a better plan. I do have a plan B that I'm not too disappointed to go with.

And then tonight, my friend Dusty Takle posted a quote from Steven Furtick, "The good thing didn't happen so that the better thing could."

Maybe that's God's way of letting me know that it's all good.

It's difficult when you want something pretty bad and you pray for God's will to be done and what you wanted didn't happen. But I'm all right. OK, so it's my plan B. It very well may have been God's plan A for me. Guess we'll see. =)

It's all good, and for whatever reason, my heart is at peace, happy even. I know God will take care of me and my family.

And I did something exciting tonight...I volunteered to do something at my church later this week. That's a big step, but I'm so ready.

Oh, happy day! Really. I mean it!

does GOD care?

Has there ever been a season in your life when you looked at your circumstances and wondered if GOD really cared?

plan b
pete wilson
chapter 1: reality


yep. in fact, that's happened on a few occasions. there have been times when it seemed no matter what i did or said, i couldn't find him. i'd cry out only to be met with silence.

at other times, i felt him as if he were sitting right next to me. it's as if i could feel his breath. but even with him right there, my circumstances didn't change. these times were probably harder than the times of silence. more than once, i would scream out, "don't you care? you see what's going on. you could stop this if you wanted to. why don't you want to?"

i grew up being taught that you don't question GOD. you just accept without question whatever comes your way. however, as i read my BIBLE, i came across scriptures like...

James 4:2...you do not have, because you do not ask.
matthew 7:7...ask and GOD will give to you. search and you will find...

i wanted answers.

when i began asking and searching, GOD started showing me things. i still have some unanswered questions. some questions took days, weeks, months, even years to be answered. i've even forgotten some of my questions until GOD reminded me of them by answering them.

GOD is big enough to handle our doubts, fears, questions, anger. and the very fact that he hasn't mowed me down with lightning after some of the conversations we've had may be proof enough that he cares. whether or not he answers my questions, he always manages to let me know he hasn't forgotten about me. little reminders of his love just seem to pop up at just the right time.

i know how it feels to think GOD doesn't care, but after all our time together, i can't deny his faithfulness or patience or gentleness in my life. and our past history together keeps me going during the tough times.

reflections on plan b

i started reading a book this past week called plan b: what do you do when GOD doesn't show up the way you thought he would? by pete wilson.

i'm only in chapter 2, but already, i'm being affected.

i used to think i had life figured out, that GOD's plans for my life were the plans that i had laid.

and then...BAM! life got turned upside down. life wasn't fair. GOD wasn't fair. i didn't know how to handle that. my plan A went right out the proverbial window. i wasn't sure there was even a plan B.

it has taken me years to learn trust and acceptance and faith. i still don't have it all together. even as i write, my plan A is being shaken up. i have to just shake my head and laugh this time as GOD shows up completely different than i imagined he would. well...on to plan B...again.

i LOVE a book that gives discussion questions/study guides so that i can dig a little deeper. and this book has that. good goin', pete!

so... i guess i have a number of blog topics for a while.

for anyone reading this, i encourage you to answer those questions for yourself...and while you're at it, you might as well grab the book. looks like it's a good one thus far!