Have Mercy

There is a time to lovingly speak truth, and there is a time to shut up and show mercy. Mercy and judgement have always been difficult for us Christians. We tend to fall into extremes. That's human nature. 

I've said for years that if I am to err, I should err on the side of mercy. The merciful will obtain mercy, and the measure in which you judge others will be the measure in which you will be judged. I'm not perfect. We all fall short. And whoever is without sin...go ahead...cast the first stone.

According to a recent study, the church is considered to be judgmental in general and to be hateful towards people who live alternative lifestyles. We Christians are called to live holy and righteous personal lives. We are also called to show love and respect to others. 

Yes, we sometimes need tough love and to also give that tough love to others, but we are not called to be others' holy spirit. There is one already that has the responsibility to guide and convict, and he does it much better than we can. 

Because we are loving and merciful, we desire to share life and truth with others, but we cannot and should not force our way onto others. God gives us free will. Who are we to not allow others that same free will? 

I try to live a holy life because I love and respect God and others around me. I try to show mercy to those who, like myself, fall short and struggle. And I think it is perfectly biblical to teach and advocate mercy, love, grace and forgiveness, just as it is biblical to teach about sin, repentance and hell. 

I'm a little bothered because of all the things I've read and heard over the past few months from Christians who have chosen to speak so much judgement and so little mercy. 

God is love, and with that love comes an element of holiness as well as mercy. In my years of life and ministry, I have found it is often much easier to try to make others be holy, and it is so much harder to live honestly and transparently and with mercy and forgiveness. 

Lately, I have found myself asking God what the Gospel was intended to be before we Christians got a hold of it and transformed it into what we have now. I desire to find that pure, unadulterated Good News that Jesus lived and taught. I pray that I can live out the great command to love God with everything in me and to love people as I love myself. 

The older I get, the more I realize I have to learn, the further I have to go. God, may you continue to increase in my life, and may my way and will continue to decrease...until everything I am resembles you.

how do you know if you've forgiven?

how do you know you've forgiven someone? i ask myself that question a lot. periodically, i make a list of those who have offended or hurt me so that i can work towards forgiving them and freeing myself emotionally from the pain. over the years, there have been a few names or situations that have lingered on that list. despite all the praying and journaling and tears, i am just not sure if i've forgiven them, so they remain on the list until i'm sure.

it may sound silly, but i often ask myself this: if i were shopping in wal-mart (or wherever) and turned around and saw (insert name), how would i respond? would i be angry, upset, bothered, and perhaps avoid eye contact? or would i be calm, respectful, and maintain eye contact? if i can't in good conscience say the latter, then it's time to revisit the situation...as often as it takes. i tend to wear my heart on my sleeve so i can't fake it.

i may have to forgive someone multiple times for one offense, but i learned that's ok, too. i sometimes wonder if the biblical teaching of forgiving 70 x 7 means per person or per offense. =)

humbly grateful or grumbly hateful?

a few years ago, david spent a few days at a monastery with a group of colleagues. one of the things he said was absolutely prohibited and not tolerated at the monastery was grumbling. now i think i understand why. grumbling changes people. it changes those people who do it, it changes those people who listen to it, it changes those people who are victims of it. even if one doesn't participate in it actively, they become passively involved when they give ear to it which leads to their active participation the more they're around it. they start viewing everything through the filter of the grumbling.

why is it that we are so willing to listen to a lie but not the truth? why is it that we would rather believe what we hear from a grumbler than believe what we see from the one being grumbled about? grumbling destroys people and ministries and relationships. it's a dangerous thing.

i was told as a child that if you aren't the one talking about someone but you listen, you're just as guilty as the one doing the talking. i was told to try to stop it or walk away from it.

the Bible says that we should deal with people honestly, that we should look out for others, that we should love and respect each other. if you have a problem with someone, you should try to work it out. romans 12:18 says, "if it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live at peace with others." there's no peace in grumbling.

we have a choice... humbly grateful or grumbly hateful. what will we choose today?

how we survive things like home improvements

there's nothing like shopping and home repair to bring out the worst in us. david hates shopping. i hate going with him. david doesn't know much about home repair. i hate details. instructions upset me. not sure how the phrase "devil's in the details" originated, but i must voice my agreement nonetheless. the devil is certainly in them. i'm a big picture person. details tend to frustrate me. i like to leave them for others to do.

i have to admit though that today we did well. there was no fussing or eye rolling at lowe's. i did have to walk off once or twice due to my own aggravation. david wasn't impatient as usual. i think we did well. he did the first repairs by himself while i took a nap.

i think our marriage has survived this long because we know ourselves well. we both know that david hates shopping. therefore, when i am undecided about what i plan to purchase or i'm using coupons, i leave david at home. and david has learned that i process out loud. when i'm frustrated, he lets me process my way through it. he used to "get on to me," as we say in the south, to which i'd snap at him. yeah, that didn't work too well. =)

we've learned to respect each other, to celebrate with each other, and to show our appreciation for each other. tonight, i'm taking him out on a date because he spent the morning on home improvements. i think he deserves it. and he knows i've had a rough couple of weeks, so he's gonna let me take him out. how sweet of him. =)

home improvements are a necessary evil. though we don't always see eye to eye, there's no one else i'd rather do them with.