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Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trust. Show all posts

Saturday, October 16, 2010

gossip destroys


the cartoon is admittedly a little funny, but gossip is not. gossip destroys. there's just no other way to put it.

most of us have done it, but it's hard to admit to it. i'll start. i'm guilty. i've engaged in it. and i feel bad about it. truth be told, you've most likely at least listened from time to time. be honest. you've probably spoken it as well.

it's never harmless, it seems. some people do it and don't even realize it. sometimes, before we realize it, we're doing it.

we call it venting. we call it concern. we call it a prayer request on occasion (not to say it's wrong to have prayer requests, but we all know when a line is being crossed). we call it lots of things.

we need to stop.

we judge other people for things we consider ungodly sins, yet we participate in our godly sins almost daily.

listening to it is just as bad as speaking it.

it's easy to get involved. it draws us in. we believe it. and even if we don't, it still affects us. we listen, and we're hooked.

you know... we really don't need to know. most of the time, it's none of our business.

i'm sorry for the times i've allowed myself to get sucked in. i think i'm being a friend by being there for someone. i don't want to be rude, so i listen. before i know it, i've added to the conversation. i may tell them to talk to the person about it, but it's already gone too far. or i get upset, and i feel the need to vent...to the wrong person.

and it hurts that some of it's been about me or those i love. and people who i thought were friends listen to the gossip and start acting weird. trust is broken, and chances are, so is a relationship. and it hurts. as much as i don't want to be hurt by gossip, i don't want to hurt others either.

so why do we do it? i think sometimes we engage in gossip because we are...broken ourselves. it's always easier to point the finger at others than ourselves. it's easier to deflect. sometimes we have valid feelings, but it's easier to tell someone else than it is to tell the person we should really be talking to. sometimes it's just a way to pass the time. sometimes we're just nosy. sometimes we're jealous. sometimes we're hurt. sometimes we're angry. i'm sure there are other reasons as well.

but here's the bottom line: gossip destroys. someone always gets hurt.

once it's spoken, you can't take it back.

if we're not part of the solution, we become part of the problem. and if we don't have the ability to bring solution, it's none of our business.

and if someone is talking TO you about someone else, there's a good chance they're talking ABOUT you to someone else.

here's a question: would we want someone else saying this about us or our children? no? then chances are we should just keep it to ourselves. and believe me, i'm stepping on my own toes as much as yours. but i want to be a better person, so it's worth it.

Friday, October 15, 2010

i thought i knew what faith was, but that was before...


yep. i used to think i had faith, but nothing could've prepared me for this:

this week, my oldest son got his ...


wait for it...
can't believe i'm about to say it...
here it comes...


driver's license!!!

i'm still trying to figure out how i feel about this. i saw images in my mind of this itty-bitty 7 lb baby, a toddler sliding in a puddle of water at the park, a little man holding his dad's hand walking across the wal-mart parking lot...

when did he grow up and start ... (gulp)... DRIVING???

i try to take deep breaths and chill. i've got to let him grow up. the hubby and i have done a good job, i think, of helping our kids become independent.

but then the day comes, and it's like...LIFE, SLOW DOWN! I'M NOT READY YET!

i tell him all the time when he goes out with friends or when he's about to drive,"don't do anything stupid." ...and then i pray. i thought leaving the hospital with my newborn son was scary. looking back, that was nothing. =)

wow! my son is driving. i think i've concluded that you don't know what faith really is until you hand over the keys of your car to your child. that's when faith really kicks in. i'm excited for him. i really am. however, i'm thinking GOD and i will be having many conversations for a while that go a little like this: "keep him safe, and don't let him do anything stupid. amen."

Monday, July 5, 2010

perfect love dispels fear


Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love. --1 John 4:18 (NLT)

i have to admit something. though i've been trying for so long to deny it, i just can't get around this anymore. i am afraid of church. i'm also afraid of anyone who talks about church or speaks christianese.

i fear being hurt, being judged, being guilted into throwing myself into the busy-ness of churchwork.

i don't fear GOD. i mean, i do, but not in the same way. i have that healthy fear and awe of GOD being a just and all-encompassing high being and creator of the universe. but i'm not afraid to carry on a conversation with him and reveal my innermost thoughts and shortcomings. i trust him enough to expose my heart to him. that has not come easy. it has been a long journey, but i do trust him. i believe in him.

GOD is LOVE. love expels all fear. yet i fear a lot. most people don't realize the extent of my fear.

GOD knows. we talk about it. and when we talk, i'm not afraid. i know he won't take my heart that i entrusted to him, throw it on the ground and stomp all over it.

i long for the day when i can open up my heart to people again, especially those of the christian ilk. perfect love casts out fear. there is shortage of perfect love.

i don't like guarding my heart. i hate the disconnect. it makes me cold and self-preserving.

GOD, show me how to love. show me how to accept love. make evident that perfect love that dispels fear. remove the fear that keeps me from living life to its fullest, that keeps me from loving, that keeps me from being loved. continue to heal my heart and make it strong. i trust you to do that. i trust you with my heart.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

new beginnings

new beginnings. change. expansion.

tomorrow, we visit a new church. i smiled as i did a little research on the church tonight. the name is avalon, which i found out means...yep...new beginning. that seems to be the theme of my life right now.

i've had to say goodbye to some former things. i'm working to embrace the new. and there is a lot of new to embrace.

i am a little fearful. i can't lie about that. perspective is a hard thing to find, but i'm trying to relax and open my mind in order to grasp it. i'm not the first to try something new, and i certainly won't be the last. for me to think i'm the only one who has ever stepped out of her comfort zone would be arrogant and prideful.

i have to trust that GOD will lead me in the right direction. i've been joking (though i'm kind of serious) about GOD tweeting me his will. but i remembered something i read a few years ago by erwin mcmanus...go till GOD says no.

and go i will. and with each new experience comes confidence and peace and a broader sense of adventure. as long as i'm moving, i will find that the hand of GOD guides me. it's when i stop that i get lost. i don't know if that makes sense, but it does to my heart.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

GOD and my heart share a secret

i've had a lot of thoughts going through my head these last few days, and i'm blogging because i need to let some of them out. ever get the feeling like something's about to happen? i have been feeling that way lately. sometimes that's a bad feeling, but not this time. i keep feeling like something good is about to happen. don't know what. don't know when. i have no reason to think this except that my heart tells me so.

i hope it's a good thing. i'm pretty intuitive, and so i've learned over the years to trust my heart. yeah, i know. i grew up hearing you shouldn't. i know there are people who emphatically state that you can't trust your emotions; you should go with what your head tells you. and that's fine if that's how you're wired. but i'm not wired that way. i make decisions with my heart, and it works every time...because that's how GOD made me. i used to think that was weird, wrong even...until someone i really respect confessed he was the same way. so if he's considered weird, i am in very good company.

i guess i'm just really looking forward to the plans GOD has for me. i think he's got something up his sleeve. i feel like my vision is expanding. i'm feeling hope and optimism like i haven't felt in a while. it's like GOD and my heart share a secret. i can speculate, but i think i'll just wait for GOD to reveal the surprise to me. and i'll just continue to wear this goofy smile that i can't seem to rid myself of...and i have no idea why.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

trust: freely given or earned?

i read a blog this morning in which the blogger stated that she thought trust should be freely given not necessarily earned. i think i know what she was trying to say, but i'm not fully agreeing with it. i don't think you should not trust EVERYONE just because ONE person hurt you, but..."shrewd as a snake, harmless as a dove." i guess i'm thinking that you can give trust to others, but sometimes situations arise in which trust must be earned or re-earned. i think you can bless people without trusting them. perhaps? just processing.



one commenter said that she punishes others by withholding trust. i can see that happening sometimes, but i don't think that is always the case. i do believe that i have to live my life with my heart out in the open. i live a vulnerable, transparent life. my heart will get trampled on and wounded from time to time, but it's better to care and be honest and risk getting hurt than to be cold, distant and hardened. that means i do have a level of trust that i give, but i think i'm a little cautious in general due to my past experiences. i'm sure that's both bad and good at times.



so should trust be freely given or earned or a little of both? i think i'll be giving that more thought.